The Lord’s Love

Indescribable.  Uncontainable.  Wonderful.  Redeeming.  Overflowing.  These words don’t do justice to the Lord’s love for us.  The only word of that list that might come close is Indescribable.

Everything in nature from the vastness of the universe to the minute details of an atom testifies of His greatness.  The complexity of the physics involved in the workings of the Earth, to the simplicity of arithmetic.  The beauty of a sunset, or an ocean, or of a child singing a song.  The wonder of a towering mountain, or the birth of a star…or that of a human being.

These things may communicate to us a fraction of His power, His wonder, His intellect.  But only personal experience truly testifies to us of His love.

And how He loves us so.  He doesn’t just love the “best” of His servants.  He loves ALL of us.  Enough to send His Son to die for us.  But that one great act is often forgotten in the moment.  When we are at our worst, when we are in the pit of despair, when hope seems not only lost, but non-existent.

jesus-embrace

When a drug addict lies on a dirty mattress in a cockroach-infested apartment, curled up in a fetal position, rocking and shaking and sweating from withdraw, feeling like he will die.  The Lord is there.

When an executive spends twelve or thirteen hour days in the office during a layoff period, straining his marriage almost to the point of breaking, and then hears that he would be laid off anyway…his career aspirations dashed and his family life in shambles.  The Lord is there.

When a student stares at an essay she didn’t write, stressed for time with an impossible schedule and four more assignments due, none of which she has time for…and she is ready to make the final, desperate decision to send the essay to her professor and cheat for the first time.  The Lord is with her.

The Lord is with the child with leukemia who struggles to get through the night.  The Lord is with the premature neonate, whose tubes and wires outweigh him, his tiny chest fighting for every breath.  The Lord is with the drug dealer selling dirty needles in an abandoned, condemned building.  The Lord is with the soldier who cries for his fallen brothers.  The Lord is with the single mom who works three jobs to pay the rent.  The Lord is with her children, who think gang life is the only way to support themselves.

He is with the pastor who professes his love for the Lord every Sunday.  He is with the crack addict who can’t remember his own name.

He is with all of us, always, now and forever.

When I was dealing with the cyberbullying on Twitter following a comment about racial slurs, people said things like the following:

“I stopped listening for “god” and instead listened for myself.  Now I don’t want to kill myself anymore.”

He heard and saw this person’s heartbreak.  And of course, if she knew this, she might scream, “THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP ME?!?!”

Why don’t you take it all away, Lord?  Why do we have to have pain?  Why are there mudslides, and earthquakes, and tsunamis?  Why are there terrorist attacks, and plane crashes, and recessions?  Why are there genocides, and why is there rape?  Why is there murder?  Why is there sorrow?  Why did you let that guy get addicted to crack, or that woman lose her job, or that child get raped by his uncle?

When Jesus arrived in town after Lazarus had passed away, and He learned that his friend was no longer alive, He wept.

Jesus wept.

The Lord weeps when the drug addict shoots up with a dirty needle.  He weeps when terrorists end the lives of innocents.  He weeps when mudslides sweep away families’ homes of cherished memories.  He weeps when a child is victimized.  He weeps when jobs are lost.

The Lord is always with us.  He doesn’t often intervene…occasionally He will part waters, calm seas, stop the mouths of lions, stay the flames of fiery furnaces, and otherwise rescue us.  The days of miracles are not over.  They are still upon us, if we choose to look.

But miracles aside, He is always with us.

Oh, how I wish that woman who wrote that tweet, about ceasing listening to the Lord and starting to listen to herself, so that she no longer wanted to kill herself, how I wish, so fervently, that she could have stopped and truly listened to what He had to say.  Because it doesn’t matter who you are or what you are going through, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, in your deepest hour of despair, if your heart is open, you will see the Lord standing with you, His hand guiding you, protecting you, directing you, and surrounding you with angels who sing comforting carols by your bedside.

He embraces you in His open arms, because He loves you!  HE LOVES YOU!

He made you, from the very beginning.  He knitted you together in your mother’s womb, and breathed your spirit into your body, a spirit that dwelt with Him in heaven before you came here, and agreed upon your trials, knowing that they were *exactly* what you needed in order to return to Heavenly Father’s arms.  HE KNOWS YOU!  He knows everything about you!  He knows what makes you tick, and He KNOWS that you can get through what you are facing.

How I wish you could hear the angels sing.  Just close your eyes, and listen in your deepest hour of despair.

He is there for all of us.  Every single one of us.

My fellow brothers and sisters who struggle with gender identity, know that He made you.  Know that He loves you.  Know that He *designed* you, and you are not broken.  There is no such thing as broken.  Your body might be malfunctioning, but that happens for the same reason that mudslides happen, and hurricanes, and earthquakes, and cancer.  Your soul is not malfunctioning.  Your soul is the gender you *know* it to be, and the Lord made you this way so that you could overcome this challenge.  You, more than anyone, know what it means to be *your* gender.  You, more than anyone, have that eternal definition imprinted in your brain because you *know* it isn’t correlated to the way you look, it is correlated ONLY to your spirit.

Listen to the Lord.  He is right there with you.  He loves you.  His love is indescribably big.  It is certainly big enough to envelop you forever and always.  He designed you to fit right in His arms.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

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J. Cabot is a young engineer and author. He was born intersex, but didn't receive treatment until he reached adulthood. He approaches the world with an insatiable curiosity and has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and exploration. He tackles every puzzle before him with thorough research and a scientific mindset. In college, he sought out an answer to the question of whether God exists, and the Holy Spirit witnessed to him that God does indeed exist, and that God had been present in his life from the beginning. After bouncing between churches in a search to find the right one, he became an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He considers the medical challenges he has gone through in his life to be gifts from God which have served to make him stronger. He also considers his responsibilities as a member of the men's group in his church to have helped him develop his role as a man in society and serve the Lord to his fullest capacity. His life is dedicated to serving God, his family, and America.

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Posted in Gender, Scripture, Uncategorized

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